Self Pity? As I told you long ago, I have been and remain absolutely blown away by how positive and vibrant you've been able to remain for this long. You are easily the most courageous person I know at a personal level. If nothing else, go ahead... wallow... at least for a bit. Your entitled, for Christ sake! As for the falling, above and beyond what you've already come up with... a cane? A walker? Two canes? A short Asian woman with big boobs to help hold you up... or cushion falls, as it were And Happy New Year Russ!!!