• Russ Newton

The Big Reveal: RN + JP = TLF

Updated: Feb 21

Once upon a time there was a totally adorable dog. Her name was Oly!

Oly loved her human, Russ, more than anything else in the Whole Wide World.

She wanted her human to be super-loved, too, not just by her (a.k.a. a dog) but also by another human: a kind, loving, thoughtful human with all the right body parts who could love Russ Big Time.

So Oly began to plot: how to attract another human for Russ?

Oly's first attempt was in December 2018, when she snagged an awesome, empathetic dog-whisperer named "Jeanine."

Oly managed to get Jeanine to come spend Christmas over at Russ's Hayward home. Jeanine even slept in Russ' bed!!!

But there was one problem: Russ wasn't there.

Russ was in Florida. (What was he thinking?!)

So, even though Russ and Jeanine texted back and forth twenty+ times that December, they never hit it off.


But Oly is a persistent pup! She tries six months later, in June 2019.

Russ reaches out to Jeanine again, but when Jeanine takes more than two hours to respond (because she is deep in a National Park at the time), she's dumped for someone else. (Not just once, but twice. The fool!!!)

In the meantime, Jeanine wrote Ms. Oly a card to the address in Hayward. Unbeknownst to Jeanine, the letter is eventually forwarded to San Antonio.

Oly, not having opposable thumbs, was unable to do much with the card. But somehow her human, Russ, tucked it away.....

Another six months go by.

Oly, while in the care of a bleedin' eedjet in Texas, makes a frantic attempt to get back to Russ, is struck by a vehicle and escorted to heaven by the Doggy Angel Corps.

Russ is bereft.

Russ gives up on women.

Back in California, Jeanine is experiencing her own sets of woes and decides she will Never Date Again, Dammit.

However! Jeanine's card has not been lost! It remains hidden beneath a stack of mail in San Antonio.

From her lofty vantage point, Oly decides she's going to make One More Try.

She nudges the card into Russ's view, and he picks it up. Reads it.

Russ decides that Jeanine would probably like to know what happened to Oly, and perhaps - maybe - would like to know what is going on with Russ, too.

So Russ types out a [very devastating yet upbeat - only Russ can do both simultaenously] letter to Jeanine.


We are now in the first week of January 2021. Almost a year into the pandemic.

Jeanine receives a letter from a Russell Newton in San Antonio...and wonders, "who is this person and how did they get my address?!"

She reads the letter once, then stops. Immediately remembers Oly, and vaguely recalls sending a card two years ago.

She reads the letter through once more. Sits down. Reads it again. Is dumbstruck at the horrible chain of events (dog is killed, owner diagnosed with ALS), and realizes that she only has one choice. She absolutely must write this guy back, and if she does, she must be willing to go the distance with him. Because he deserves nothing less.

[...insert rousing orchestral crescendo...]

The rest, folks, as they say, is history.

Russ and Jeanine, having texted/emailed/Zoomed/WhatsApped for a total of >60 hours in about three weeks, are now disgustingly, nauseatingly in besotted love, and, ever since Jeanine spontaneously got on an airplane and flew over to Texas right before the icestorm-snowstorm-power-outage-water-crisis, are behaving like a pair of gumboot chitons (if you don't know what those creatures are, look 'em up).

And yes, Mr. Newton sports what is colloquially known as a "sh*t-eating grin."

Looking forward to meeting everyone during our future travels!


Russ, Jeanine, Oly, and Lusa (the new dog)

And this is Lusa, didn't seem fair to not publish her photo.

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