Updated: Apr 27, 2020
I am not one who has a lot of emotional feelings. Due to my abusive relationship with my father, I learned not to react with emotion as the safest course with a verbally abusive father. The reason for my divorce was my lack of emotion, I believe. But so was much of my success. I don't get emotional about financial matters nor about work issues and was usually able to make clear headed decisions. And it is probably the reason I am handling this diagnoses of ALS so well.
So I am going to tell all of you about a recent emotional outburst I had that caught me by surprise. My ex-wife was visiting, we were in the kitchen and having a conversation. I said to her, that I wished for her to take my ashes after death and mix them with the ashes of my dog Oly and distribute them somewhere as yet to be determined. I broke down completely at this point, crying and sobbing in deep distress. It lasted about five minutes. After reflection on it, I think it was sadness over the sudden death of my dog, Oly and mixed it with were my feelings about my own imminent death. I was grieving for what I was going to miss, as well as feelings for my dog and what she was missing. Anyways, I know it made me feel better in the long run. Russ.