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  • Writer's pictureRuss Newton


Updated: Apr 27, 2020

I am not one who has a lot of emotional feelings. Due to my abusive relationship with my father, I learned not to react with emotion as the safest course with a verbally abusive father. The reason for my divorce was my lack of emotion, I believe. But so was much of my success. I don't get emotional about financial matters nor about work issues and was usually able to make clear headed decisions. And it is probably the reason I am handling this diagnoses of ALS so well.

So I am going to tell all of you about a recent emotional outburst I had that caught me by surprise. My ex-wife was visiting, we were in the kitchen and having a conversation. I said to her, that I wished for her to take my ashes after death and mix them with the ashes of my dog Oly and distribute them somewhere as yet to be determined. I broke down completely at this point, crying and sobbing in deep distress. It lasted about five minutes. After reflection on it, I think it was sadness over the sudden death of my dog, Oly and mixed it with were my feelings about my own imminent death. I was grieving for what I was going to miss, as well as feelings for my dog and what she was missing. Anyways, I know it made me feel better in the long run. Russ.

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Mark Dtayo
Mark Dtayo
Feb 09, 2020

Russ, You shared this story with me on our trip. I appreciated your willingness to share the experience and your reflections at the time. I also appreciate your desire to explore it further with others with your post. // My sense is that all people in general experience emotions in response to thoughts and events. The manner in which we allow them to manifest inwardly and outwardly differs according to conditioning bestowed upon us or by self-governance. Over the last decade I have allowed myself the opportunity to embrace my emotions more wholly inwardly and also have allowed them to be more fully displayed for the world to witness.... particularly to my friends and family. As an adult this ho…

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